Raising young boys can be a challenge for any parents let alone a single mom, but that’s where Judi found herself after the divorce. Mother’s are there to be nurturing and compassionate so it is sometimes more difficult for them to teach boys how to be men. Judi’s success was evident as soon as you met Kevin & Sean. Both were well-balanced and outgoing. It was often said that Kevin never met a stranger. He was kind to all and very popular throughout school. He was especially thoughtful to his mother. He made a point to show her how much he loved her by his actions. A simple gesture such as bringing her a yellow rose, not only on special occasions but often just because, never failed to bring a smile to her face. Her boys were the loves of her life and the three of them shared a very strong bond.
One day Kevin, now 20 years old, gave his mother a letter that he had written. In it he told her that his life was getting ready to change for the better although he didn’t know exactly how. It had been revealed to him in an incredibly vivid dream the night before. As Judi continued reading she found words that she couldn’t have been prepared for. Here was her 20 year old son, young, healthy and vibrant, instructing her on how he would like his funeral to be carried out. Detailed wishes on what he wanted to wear, a particular ring he wanted to have on, the request of a specific friend of the family to play an instrument, and even specific songs he wanted played. Why would a 20 year old even be thinking about such things? As you can imagine Judi was tremendously upset. Here was her own son talking as if he was about to die. She went directly to him and asked, “Why did you write this letter?” Kevin very calmly explained to his mother again about his dream and tried to reassure her that his life would be changing for the better. Even though he did not know how it would be changed, he felt compelled to share the dream and his funeral wishes with his family in case something happened to him. This became a subject of conversation that Judi definitely was not comfortable with so needless to say it was avoided.
About a week after Kevin had given his mother the letter, he and his younger brother Sean had plans to attend a house party. One of their friends at the party was in the process of restoring a car, so naturally they wanted to go for a ride. Another friend, Randy, who was sixteen at the time decided to drive. The car, not being completed, had running lights but no headlights. As they headed down the road at a high rate of speed they suddenly lost control and hit the bridge railing. The car flipped over on its top and careened to a stop. Randy and Sean had immediately been thrown from the car but Kevin was still entangled in the mass of metal.
Judi awoke in the early morning hours to a ringing phone. On the other end, someone was informing her of the accident and that her youngest son, Sean, had been rushed to a nearby trauma hospital. At first she had no word of her oldest son or what condition he might be in. In a dazed state she rushed to the hospital to be with Sean. Several hours and after repeated attempts to find her other son she received the devastating news that Kevin, her oldest, her baby, was gone. He had not survived the accident. Time stood still. She could feel what little strength and composure she had left just dissipate from her body. She fell to a crumpled ball on the floor sobbing.
The first week after the accident Judi was distraught and helpless. Even though her soul ached from the separation, she still found it hard to believe he was gone. She missed everything about him; his smell, his touch, and even the way he looked at her. Lying in her bed she pleaded with God to give her a sign that Kevin was okay. Still, her inconsolable grief prevented her from stopping the tears and once again she cried herself to sleep. This night, unlike the previous nights, would prove to be very different.
Judi experienced her own dream. In this dream her beloved son, Kevin, came down from heaven to once again show his love for his mother. In his hand was an exquisite white feather which he placed on her pillow next to her. He then returned back to his ethereal home. As Judi roused from her sleep the next morning she wondered about her dream. It seemed so real to her. She anxiously turned her head to check her pillow and to her amazement there it was; a pure white feather so beautiful that it could have come from the wings of an angel. She could hardly believe her eyes! She reached out to touch it. Amazed at what had transpired, Judi felt Kevin had revealed to her, in his special way, that he was okay. She unselfishly realized that through her loss, his life had indeed become much better. With that knowledge Judi felt an overwhelming sense of peace and calmness that had eluded her thus far.
It has been many years since her son passed and her collection of feathers from Kevin has grown. To this day she still has that original feather carefully and lovingly protected. Whenever Judi’s heartaches become unbearable, Kevin continues to comfort her with simple gestures of love.
Submitted by Judi Armstrong